


Lou's secret

by stanthemhard



Category: Ocean's 8 (2018), Ocean's Eleven Trilogy (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-24 02:38:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15620682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stanthemhard/pseuds/stanthemhard
Summary: When Debbie comes out of jail she thinks everything will be the same, Danny and Lou will be there smiling at her and making bad jokes about her time behind bars. But five years, eight months and twelve days is a long time and things change.orhow Debbie believes Lou's fallen for someone else and lost her for good(new(s) character(s) mentioned/introduced)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> This is my first attempt at writing a story so I hope you'll like it. English not being my mother tongue I apologize for any mistake(s) you might notice.
> 
> Ocean's 8 is truly a great film, Lou and Debbie form the cutest couple ever!  
> Since we don't know much about Lou's background and what happened to her while Debbie was in jail I wanted to write about her. The story is mainly told from Debbie's POV.  
> A new character (maybe two) is mentioned in the story and will most likely be introduced later.
> 
> Enjoy the reading!

When Debbie comes out of jail she thinks everything will be the same, Danny and Lou will be there smiling at her and making bad jokes about her time behind bars. But five years, eight months and twelve days is a long time and things change.

The day Debbie is released Danny is gone, most likely dead, and Lou is missing too. Debbie's heart arches and she wants to cry, but Debbie Ocean never cries - at least she tries not to - so she pulls herself together and sends Lou a text.

 

She hears a car from inside the cemetery. It's a big, old, noisy one and Debbie doesn't like big, old, noisy cars but for once she doesn't care because it's Lou's car. She exits the building and goes straight to Lou's car. The blonde woman is patiently waiting for her, bangs covering her pretty blue eyes, jewellery sparkling around her neck and on her hands.

When Debbie finally sits in the car Lou can't resist giving her a hug and a kiss in her hair. Lou has missed Debbie, a lot and seeing her after all this time brings back happy - and sad - memories. When Lou touches her, Debbie's hole body shivers, her heart pounding hard and loud in her chest. She has missed this, the touch of Lou.

While Lou is driving Debbie takes a good look at her. Lou has changed. Her face looks a bit older, small wrinkles appearing around her eyes and mouth. She looks slimmer too, not in a scary or life-threatening way, but she has lost a big of weight. Her voice is deeper than what Debbie remembers maybe because of the smoking and finally, Lou looks tired. Nevertheless, she is beautiful, and this has not changed.

 

When Debbie moves into the loft she thinks it will be like good old times: Chinese take-outs, heavy drinking, smoking and flirting but things have changed. Lou has stopped smoking about a year or so before Debbie's release, heavy drinking is no longer heavy drinking and Chinese take-outs have been replaced by homemade meals. The flirting is still there tough, but Debbie can feel that Lou is being a bit distant.

At least one thing hasn't changed, Lou is still her partner and Debbie is deeply relieved. She knows she's fucked up when she left Lou for Claude. This is maybe one of the only good things about being in jail, you have the time to think about your mistakes. And Debbie has thought a lot.

 

In prison, silence is never good news because it either means you are dead or your death is being planned. Noise has been part of Debbie's life 24/7 for five years, eight months and twelve days.

In jail, noise comes in many forms: someone screaming, the morning alarm, the guard's footsteps, the click of your cell's door and the laugh of your crazy cell mate. Solitary is less noisy allowing Debbie to think and plan the heist. But Lou's loft is a silent place and since jail, Debbie hates silence. It scares the shit out of her and makes her have nightmares.

 

She's been living in the loft for a week now and had nightmares every night. She wakes up around 2 am eyes wide open, screaming into her pillow so she doesn't wake up Lou. They don't share the same bedroom, Lou has insisted on having each their beds. When she wakes up, Debbie lays on the floor flat on her back for hours listening to music on her old iPod.

She usually never leaves her room because she is too afraid of the loft in the dark. But this night Debbie takes her blanket and her music and makes her way to the living room. Her bedroom is upstairs next to the bathroom which separates her room from Lou's. While closing her door without making a sound, Debbie doesn't notice Lou's door is wide open.

 

The loft has a small terrace facing the sea. The door to the terrace is in the living room next to the couch. Debbie is too tired to notice Lou sitting on one of the terrace chairs talking to someone on her phone. After settling herself on the couch, Debbie takes her headphones off to put the TV on, but something catches her attention. The door to the terrace is open allowing her to hear Lou's voice. Debbie sits up, legs crossed and closes her eyes like when she was eight to hear better.

 

Lou's voice is loud enough for Debbie to understand what she is saying.

 

"I miss you too. I wish I could come and visit you, but I have a job, a big one".

 

She pauses.

 

"No, it's not dangerous I promise".

 

She pauses again. 

 

"Yes, it's Debbie's plan and no I can't tell you about it".

 

Lou pauses for the third time and then speaks again. 

 

"Honey don't worry about me okay? I'll call you tomorrow now go to bed it's late".

 

Her voice is soft. 

 

"I love you too baby bye".

 

Debbie's breath catches in her throat.

 

 _"I love you too baby"_  
  


Lou never says _baby_ to anyone other than Debbie. Lou never says _I love you_ , only once to Debbie during a drunk night. Lou has a girlfriend and this girlfriend is not Debbie. Lou has moved on.

 

Lou gets up and Debbie moves quick. She puts her headphones back on and pretends she's asleep. Lou turns the light in the living room on, closes the door to the terrace and makes her way to the kitchen to get a glass of water. She doesn't see Debbie straightaway.

When she goes back to the living room she sees Debbie sitting on the couch pretending to have been woken up by the lights. Debbie rubs her eyes and takes her headphones off, the blanket falls from her chest revealing the black AC DC oversize t-shirt Lou gave her. Lou's eyes are wide open, surprise visible on her face.

 

"What are you doing here sleeping on the couch and not in your bedroom?"

 

"I couldn't sleep in my room, it's too warm".

 

Debbie’s voice is low, trapped in her throat. She cannot believe Lou has a girlfriend. 

 

"And you what are you doing down here?"

 

Lou doesn't answer straightaway. Her bangs are a wild mess, she had no make-up on and she took off all her jewellery except for one ring. Debbie notices it's a new one maybe a present from her girlfriend. Lou is wearing a pair of black shorts revelling her long pale legs. Her grey t-shirt is too big for her and shows her left shoulder. She's wearing a pair of big yellow socks. Debbie can't take her eyes off her.

When Lou finally speaks her voice is hesitant. 

 

"I needed a bit of fresh air I'm not used to drinking that much booze anymore".

 

She laughs a little, but it's forced. They both know she's lying. Lou shots a small smile at Debbie. 

 

"I'm going to go back to bed now. If you need anything help yourself. Night Deb"

 

"Good night Lou"

 

Debbie tries to smile back, Lou turns the light off and Debbie can't stop the tears from rushing down her cheeks.

 

In five years, eight months and twelve days things have changed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> So here's chapter 2, I am very happy you liked chapter 1. Thank you to the people who commented I really appreciate it!
> 
> Chapter 2 has some angst and so emotional hurt but it will get better.  
> Also Tammy is in this chapter because what would the girls be without Tim-Tam.
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!

Planning the heist is fun, Debbie loves going through the blueprints explaining her plan to the girls.

The team she and Lou have put together is a good one, Debbie likes it. Tammy's smile is heart-warming, Constance and Amita get on well, Nine Ball doesn't talk much but her presence is comforting, Rose and her Irish accent are exotic. Debbie knows what she's doing, planning a heist is what she's good at but something still doesn't feel right. Lou is her partner, but she feels they are slowly drifting apart from each other, awkward blanks filling their conversations.

That night, after hearing the phone call, Debbie cries herself to sleep and Lou stays awake for hours her mind buzzing with thoughts as she tries to put in the right way the words she will eventually have to tell Debbie. They don't talk about that night. In fact, they hardly talk anymore.

 

 

 

One morning Debbie steps into the kitchen to get her breakfast, it’s about 9 am, the sun is shining bright into the room. Rose is there and Lou too.

Lou is wearing a light blue suit, a long gold necklace and numerous big rings. Her watch shines into the sun light, reflecting a small bright circle on one of the walls. It's a nice watch, a present from Debbie to Lou after their first successful heist. Lou is wearing a black pair of reading glasses she only puts on when she's reading one of her “hard to understand” books Debbie loves to tease her about.

Rose is sitting next to Lou. She's writing something on a notebook and talking at the same time. At first Debbie doesn't understand her words because of the funny consonants coming out of Rose's mouth and then she gets it. Rose is talking French.

The team discovered Rose spoke French during her visit at Cartier. Her accent is impeccable, and her French is fluid. Debbie was never good at French, but she stills remembers some words from high school. Lou's trying to repeat Rose's sentence, but one word is hard to pronounce.

 

> "Listen dear, you need articulate a bit more if you want to say this word correctly"

 

Rose's voice is soft.

 

> "Like this, watch carefully my mouth. Je souhaite acheter une nouvelle moto"

 

Lou tries to repeat the sentence, but something is wrong with the pronunciation of the word "une".

 

> "Fuck I just can't get it right. Why is French so hard!"

 

Lou shakes her head, banks brushing against her blue eyes.   


 

> "The [u] sound a hard one to pronounce I agree", says Rose with a smile, "but don't worry, if you try a bit everyday you'll get it".

 

> "Thanks Rose"
> 
>  

While she says this Lou lifts her head and sees Debbie. Debbie is wearing her AC DC top, long dark blue pants and is bare foot. Her brown long hair is down, the sun shining on them. Lou quickly studies Debbie's lovely face stopping a split second on her lips. Then blue eyes meet brown and they lock for what seems ages.

Lou smiles and Debbie blushes a little.

 

> "Hey sleeping beauty, how are you doing?"

 

Debbie looks away.

 

> "I'm fine thank you".

 

Debbie walks to Rose to say hello then to the coffee machine.

 

> "So, what are you guys doing?"

 

> "Well I'm helping Lou with her French"

 

Debbie sets the machine on and turns to face Lou.

 

> "Since when do you speak French?"

 

Her question is quick maybe a bit harsh. 

 

> "I started taking lessons about a year ago"

 

Her voice is shy.

Debbie doesn't reply. Her coffee is ready, she takes it and sits at the other end of the kitchen table. Rose clears her throat sensing the tension between her two friends. She gathers her belongings and turns to Lou.

 

> "I'll go now, call me if you need any help with your book"

 

Rose points at a travel book on Paris as she walks towards the house's front door.

 

> "Have a nice day girls. See you later"

 

Lou waves goodbye at Rose and then the loft is silent again.

Lou's going to Paris, Lou's taking French lessons, Lou has a girlfriend, Lou's taking her girlfriend on a trip to Paris. Debbie wants to cry. Paris was their trip, the place they promised each other they would go once they were rich. But things didn't go as planned and Debbie went to jail.

Now Lou is going to Paris without Debbie.

 

> "What are you thinking Jailbird?"

 

> "Don't call me like that".

 

Debbie goes on the terrace. They don't talk until the girls arrive later that day.

 

 

 

Debbie doesn't tell the girls about Claude Becker not even Lou. But Lou eventually finds out and she's angry. They argue. 

 

> "Do not run a job in a job!"

 

Lou's voice is loud as she walks away from Debbie. Debbie can see Lou's sad and it reminds her one more time how bad she fucked things up all those years ago. She feels guilty but hides behind a confident smile. She knows her plan will work so she convinces Lou everything will be okay.

After this, Debbie feels their bond going weaker every day. Debbie stays in her bedroom when the girls are not around and hides from Lou. Lou goes out on her bike to clear her mind - and cry - as she can feel her friendship with Debbie crumbling into pieces.

Lou knows Debbie is suspecting something, but she cannot tell her now, not when they are so close to finally succeeding. What Lou has to say is not something you can throw at someone's face over Chinese take-out and wine. It needs preparation and clear minds.

Lou and Debbie need to have a conversation, a real one, but neither are good at this. So, they avoid talking, they avoid each other. 

 

 

 

Weeks go by and the duo is no longer a duo. Still, they save appearances in front of the girls. They pretend everything's fine even when they're not. Eventually, Debbie asks about Paris.

 

> "You're planning a trip to Paris huh?"

 

Lou's voice is hesitant as she tries to dodge the question. 

 

> "Yeah... I figured after this was all finished I'd travel around the world a bit..."
> 
>  
> 
> "You're going alone?"
> 
>  
> 
> "I'd rather not talk about that okay? Let's focus on the heist" 

 

Lou's answer is a bit abrupte. It's not intended. 

 

> "Okay sorry"
> 
>  

Debbie knows better not to piss Lou off, so she doesn't ask about the trip again. She's upset but hides it because Lou's right. They must focus on the heist

 

 

 

The rendezvous was set for around 4pm at the loft. The group had to go through more details about the party itself. Tammy always on time so is the first one to arrive. As she rings the bell Tammy checks her phone, it's 4:00 pm. Lou opens the door, her eyes are slightly red and puffy. She's been crying but Tammy pretends she doesn't notice.

Debbie is not in, she went for a walk and did not say when she would come back. Lou's voice in low when she talks. 

 

> "Can I get you something to drink? Water, Coffee, Tea?"
> 
>  
> 
> "Water's fine thanks."
> 
>  

Tammy follows Lou into the kitchen and sits at the table, takes her reading glasses out of her bag and papers she managed to take home from her office at Vogue. 

 

> "Here is the list of all the menus and the name of each guest. You need to go through this, so you know who eats what." 
> 
>  

Lou sets Tammy's glass on the table, sits and go through the papers. 

 

> "Thanks Tim-Tam"
> 
>  

They are silent for her while then Tammy says: "Have you told her?"

 

Lou doesn't try to pretend she doesn't know what Tammy is talking about. Tammy knows, of course she knows, she's a mother after all and mothers always knows. 

 

> "No... I don't know how to tell her. Not that I don't want to, I do, but I can't find the right words".

 

Lou looks down, she wants to cry. Tammy reaches out for her hand. 

 

> "Hey sweetie look at me. Tell her when you feel ready but it better be soon."
> 
>  
> 
> "I know"
> 
>  
> 
> "Anyways, how is she?"
> 
>  
> 
> "She's fine, we talk every day. I told her I had a big job running, probably the last one, and that I'll join her when it's all over"
> 
>  
> 
> "Have you met her yet"
> 
>  
> 
> "Oh yes over this last year she came here, and I went to visit her every time she was on vacation. We have plans for after all this. We're going to Paris. She's never been there, and I've always wanted to go so we figured it could be a nice trip to do together."
> 
>  

Lou's eyes are shining, her smile is bright. She's happy, Tammy can see it. Before she can add anything the doorbell rings. The rest of the crew comes in talking loudly, laughing about a joke Constance made. Debbie is there too. She's smiling and laughing with the others. Lou is still in the kitchen with Tammy, eyes searching for Debbie. When she sees her, her heart stops.

Debbie is wearing tight blue jeans, a pair of black heels and her dark trench coat. Her hair is up in a ponytail revelling a shiny pair of ears rings. Her smile is gorgeous, and her laugher sends shivers through Lou's body. Sunglasses are hiding Debbie's eyes, but Lou knows she is looking at her too. They are, or at least were, good at talking without actually talking, understanding each other instantly with only one glance at one another. So, Lou tries to talk to her. She tries hard to tell Debbie she still has a special place in her heart, but Debbie turns around and disappears in the small crowd around her. 

 

 

 

The girls leave around 10 pm leaving empty pizza boxes all over the living room. There's still one week to go before the heist but Debbie knows the girls are ready. The upcoming seven days will be for rehearsal.

Debbie gets up from the couch and starts gathering the empty boxers. Lou is in the kitchen loading the dishwasher. When she's finished she helps Debbie put the boxes in the special trash can. At some point their hands touch sending shivers through both bodies.

They lock eyes, Debbie wants to kiss Lou, but she can't. Lou has a girlfriend and Debbie does not break couples. So, she doesn't kiss Lou, she says goodnight and goes to bed.

She dreams of Lou, she dreams they're at the beach in front of the house, she dreams Lou takes her hands and kisses her. First, she kisses her neck, her collarbone, behind her ears. Then she kisses her forehead, her cheeks. Finally, she kisses her mouth. Their kiss is slow and tender. Debbie hands are resting on Lou's hips as she pulls her closer to her own body. Lou's hands are cupping Debbie's cheeks.

They eventually break the kiss to breath and they rest their foreheads against each other. Lou's left thumb strokes Debbie's cheek whipping a single tear away.

She smiles at her.

 

> "I've missed you Jailbird"

 

Debbie wakes up crying and whispers: "I miss you Lou"

 

 

 

The next six days, Debbie dreams of Lou ever night. It's always the same dream, always the same words and she always wakes up crying.

The day before the heist they fight in front of the girls revealing how torn apart they are.

 

> "When you enter the restroom Constance, make sure to lock all the other doors to force Daphne to use the last on-"

 

A phones rings cutting Debbie in her sentence. Lou's on her phone texting someone, most likely her girlfriend, a bright and big smile on her face. Debbie goes one with her explanations.

 

> "As I was saying, Constance make sure Daphne goes in the last restroom. Amita, the Toussaint is supposed to arrive with the plates, Tammy will tell you which tray it is. When you have it, take a break and go to th-"

 

Once again Debbie's cut by the sound of Lou's phone. This time Debbie cannot keep quiet and loses her temper.

 

> "Lou!" 

 

Lou drops her phone surprised by Debbie's tone. 

 

> "Yes?"

 

> "Can you turn this phone off please. I'm trying to talk here", her tone is harsh.

 

> "Okay sorry bossy"

 

> "Excuse me?" 

 

Debbie's voice rises 

 

> "What did you just say?"

 

> "I said, _sorry bossy_ "

 

> "We're planning a heist here and you are distracted by your phone"

 

> "Well I'm sorry Deb I'll turn my phone off. I was not aware cell phones were forbidden in my own loft!" her tone is sarcastic.

 

Debbie snaps.

 

> "What the fuck Lou! Are you on your phone with your girlfriend is that it? Is she more important that this heist, than us, than me!"

 

Debbie is shouting. The team is watching eyes wild. And then Lou rises from her seat. She walks towards Debbie and shouts louder. 

 

> "Fuck you Ocean! Don't you dare talk about Hannah like this. Don't you dare talk about my -" 

 

Lou stops, she doesn't say another word, takes her phone, her helmet, her jacket, her keys and leaves slamming the front door of the loft shut. Debbie cannot move. Lou never shouts, Lou never leaves a fight, but Lou just did.

Debbie locks herself in her bedroom as she hears Lou disappearing into the cold night on her bike. Tammy acts quick. She gathers the girls, gives them the final instructions about the heist and makes them leave. Not long after Tammy goes home too but she still checks on Debbie to make sure she's okay.

Debbie waits all night for Lou, but Lou never comes home. Eventually Debbie falls asleep on the couch in the living room. Lou crashes at Tammy's place. Tammy doesn't say a word when Lou appears at her doorstep, she lets her in and hugs her tight. Lou sleeps in the guest room. 

The day of the heist, Lou and Tammy leave early. Debbie wakes up around 4 am unable to sleep. Before joining the team, she sneaks into the cemetery and stays there for hours staring at Danny's grave.

The meeting point is at the parking lot next to Lou's bar. They all arrive on time ready for the action.

Lou and Debbie don't talk, they don't even look at each other. The team can feel the tension between their leader and her partner, but the job is important, so they forget about the fight and focus on the Toussaint.

The heist is a success and for all long time in a while Debbie is happy.

 

 

 

Once the Toussaint was out of the museum they were supposed to meet a few blocks away from the museum. She's not sure Lou will show up, but Debbie still goes to the meeting point.

The air is fresh and the sky clear. Debbie looks at the stars to distract herself. She's nervous, if Lou doesn't show up does it mean they're over?

At some point, she hears heels hitting the pavement and prays they belong to Lou. When she sees her, her breath catches in the back of her throat.

Lou's wearing a sparkling blue jumpsuit with a deep neckline showing her smooth white skin and a glimpse of her breasts. They lock eyes, Lou smiles a give wide smile and her eyes sparkle. Debbie smiles back. Lou walks towards her, long legs hypnotizing Debbie. She now stands inches away from Debbie.

The wind blows and Lou's bangs dance across her face. 

 

> "Hello Debbie"

 

Lou's voice is low and sends shivers through Debbie's body. 

 

> "Hi Lou" 

 

They stay silent for a while, admiring one another and then Debbie speaks. 

 

> "I'm sorry" 

 

It's barely a whisper. 

 

> "I'm so sorry Lou. What happened yesterday was awful, I was awful"

 

Lou doesn't answer.

 

> "Please say something"

 

Debbie's voice cracks a little as she says the last word.

 

> "She's not my girlfriend. Hannah, the girl I was texting, the one I was on the phone with when you slept on the couch. She's not my girlfriend"

 

> "Who is she then?"

 

> "She's my... oh jeez why is it so hard to say!"

 

Lou takes her face in her hands and Debbie can tell she's not well. She takes Lou's hands in hers. 

 

> "Tell me Lou. Who is she? Who's Hannah?"

 

> "She's my daughter Deb"

 

 

Debbie knows everything about Lou, every single detail.

Lou has a daughter named Hannah and she didn't even know about it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note: when Rose speaks french she says "je souhaite acheter une nouvelle moto" which means "I would like to buy a new bike".
> 
> Please don't hate me I promise this will end well, Lou and Debbie are soulmates they will find they way back to each other. 
> 
> I don't really know where this is going but I have some ideas. Next chapter will most likely be about Lou's life before meeting Debbie and while Debbie was in jail.
> 
> If you can leave a comment to tell me what you thought about this chapter it would make me very happy.
> 
> I'll update soon.  
> Bye for now


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> First of all, thank you so much for all your comments you guys are so nice.
> 
> I'm sorry it took me so long to update, this chapter was very hard to write.   
> New characters are introduced but like promised, this chapter is focused on Lou's background, her first encounter with Debbie, her life when Debbie left and how she got to meet her daughter.
> 
> Make sure to click on the links I've added
> 
> I hope you'll like this chapter§  
> Enjoy the reading

They meet for the first time at a house party during winter break. They live in the same neighbourhood but go to different high schools.

His name is Samuel, but he tells her to call him Sam. They’re both seventeen and eager to meet new people so they talk and drink in the backyard. They laugh to Sam’s jokes, but the truth is, they’re slightly drunk.

They leave the party around 1 am and walk side by side on the beach towards their houses. Before he leaves her at her doorstep, Sam asks for Lou on a date.

 

“I really like you, I’d like to take you out on a date someday. Would you come?”

 

He smiles shyly.

 

Sam is a bit taller than Lou. He’s slim but muscular, he plays soccer in his high school’s team. His eyes are emerald green and his curly hair are dark red like copper. His skin is smooth and pale. And when he smiles dimples show up on either side of his mouth.

Sam is a nice guy, he’s funny and smart. So, Lou says yes.

 

For their first date, Sam takes Lou out on his parents’ small fishing boat. They eat sandwiches and watermelon, the latter is Lou’s favourite. They sail back to the shore and once the boat is back on the beach, they go swimming. They don’t kiss but they hold hands when Sam takes Lou home.

 

For their second date, Sam lets Lou choose. They go the cinema to watch Matrix, they share popcorns and M&M’s in the back of the theatre room. After the movie, they have dinner in a small bar near the beach. When they go home that night, they kiss. Then, they meet every afternoon after school to go skateboarding.

 

Three months after their first kiss Lou meets Sam’s family. A couple of weeks later, Sam meets Lou’s foster mom, Helen.

Four months after their first kiss, they have sex for the first while Helen is out. Both are nervous but it all goes well.

They have sex for the second time a few weeks later, on Lou 18th birthday. A week later, Lou discovers she’s pregnant. She tells Sam first, then she tells Helen. Eventually, Sam’s parents know.

 

Helen tells her to keep the baby, Sam’s parents want her to have an abortion. She doesn’t know what to do and, at first, neither does Sam.

They meet at their favourite spot by the beach to talk without their parents interfering in their decision. Sam speaks first. His voice is low and raspy.

 

 “Do you want to keep it?”

 

 “I don’t know”

 

 “My parents said you should have an abortion, they think we’re too young to have a kid”

 

 “I don’t want to have an abortion”

 

 “You want to keep it then?”

 

 “Yes”

 

 “Do you want to raise it?”

 

 “Would you help me if I did?”

 

 “My parents wouldn’t let me. They said if you kept the baby we’d moved to another town”

 

He pauses to look at Lou and she understands his next words will be harsh.

 

 “I don’t think keeping the baby is a good idea…”

 

 “What do you mean?”

 

She knows what he means but she still wants to hear it.

 

 “I think my parents are right and I want you to have an abortion”

 

 “I won’t”

 

 “Yes, you will. I’m not fucking my life up because of a kid I never wanted. So, we will set a date and my parents and I will take you to the hospital”

 

 “The thing is Sam you’re missing an important point here. This is my body not yours. So, if I say I’m keeping this child then I am. Nor you or your parents will decide otherwise for me” 

 

Her voice is steady, her gaze hard. Then, she gets up, brushes the bit of sand on her trousers and points her index at Sam when she speaks.

 

 “You tell your parents to fuck off and don’t you dare come near me ever again”

 

She walks away leaving Sam on the beach.

 

 

A few weeks later, she learns from a friend that Sam no longer lives in Melbourne. That’s the last time she hears from him.

 

 

Her pregnancy goes well. Helen comes to all her doctor appointments, her friends crash at her house in turns to help and, like all pregnant women Lou craves food, especially Chinese take-outs. But more importantly, the baby is healthy.

 

Lou gives birth on May 14, 2000 at 0:08 am to a healthy baby girl.

 

 “What are you going to name her?”

 

Helen voice shakes, a bright smile on her face and tears of joy in her eyes.

 

 “Hannah. Her name is Hannah Olivia Miller”

 

Lou’s exhausted but happy. When she speaks again it’s barely a whisper.

 

 “She’s beautiful”

 

Lou strokes Hannah’s cheek. In response, Hannah smiles eyes half closed. They're blue like Lou's, at least that's what she thinks, because what she doesn't notice is that the left one is darker than the right one. Hannah's small hand grabs Lou’s thumb.

 

“I can’t keep her Helen…”

 

She wants to cry.

 

 “She deserves the best chance at life and I can’t give her this. I want her to have a real family, people who can and will take good care of her”

 

 “Should I call the adoption centre?”

 

Helen’s voice is soft and reassuring. She strokes Lou’s hair and smiles at her.

 

 “Yes please”

 

Hannah is adopted on May 20, 2000 by Henry Flynn.

Before they take Hannah away, Lou kisses her baby’s small forehead and leaves her name on Hannah’s file.

 

 

 

 

 

They meet for the first time an early morning in Manhattan when Debbie tries to steel liquor from a store and Lou covers up for her when the owner asks her to empty her pockets.

 

 “Thank you for what you did, I could have gotten in serious trouble if it wasn’t for you”

 

 “It’s no big deal, you’re welcome”

 

Debbie smiles, her chocolate brown eyes sparkling with wit and determination. Her dark wavy brown hair stops just above her shoulders. She’s wearing a white tank top tucked in a pair of tight high waits denim making her beautiful figures more visible and, white Stan Smith style trainers. Her black leather perfecto sits on her shoulders and she’s holding a red purse in her right hand. Her face is makeup free, but her cheeks are pink from the fresh morning air. Her smile is bright and heart-warming, as dimples pop out from either side of her face. Lou stops to stare at her pink lips and wonders how soft to kiss they must be.

_“Oh my, she’s really pretty. I need to stop staring”_ thinks Lou.

 

Debbie gets a good look at Lou too. The young blonde is wearing a black, high waist pair of jeans and a pair of matching black high boots making her legs look even longer. Her black AC DC t-shirt shows her pale, smooth skin on which sits two golden chains. The first necklace has a white rose at its end, the second one is a bit longer than the first one and ends just above her breasts. She’s carrying a yellow North Face travel backpack. Her hands are holding firmly onto each handles and her golden and black bomber is attached to the back of the bag.

On each hands Lou’s wearing rings, two on the left hand and one on the right one. Debbie later learns the ones on her left index and right wedding finger belonged to Helen before she passed away.

But when Debbie looks at Lou’s face her breath catches in the back of her throat. Her blonde hair is up in a small ponytail, stands of hair tucked behind her ears. Her cheekbones are sharp, her lips thin and red. In the dark light of the store she hadn’t notice them but, as the sun hits Lou’s face Debbie does. The wind slightly brushes Lou’s blond bangs away revealing her icy blue eyes. She’s not wearing makeup apart from black mascara which makes the blue of her eyes pop out. Debbie’s mesmerized.

 

Lou smiles back at Debbie as a strange, new feeling creeps up at the pit of her stomach. She sticks her hand out and says:

 

 “My name is Lou Miller by the way”

 

 “I’m Debbie Ocean, nice to meet you Lou”

 

They shake hands and laugh. Lou likes the sound of her name on Debbie’s tongue.

 

 “You’re Australian right?”

 

 “Yes, from Melbourne. I’ve arrived yesterday”

 

 “You’re here on vacation?”

 

 “Nah, I’m here cause my foster mother just passed away and I wanted a fresh start”

 

 “Oh… I’m sorry for your loss”

 

 “I’ve always been on my own, I’ll be okay”

 

They smile at each other. Then Debbie speaks.

 

 “Why don’t you come over to my place to have breakfast, I own you one. Then I can show you around a bit and maybe help you find a job. I know a small Chinese restaurant that’s looking for a waitress”

 

 “Well… euhh...”

 

 “I’ll take this answer for a yes”

 

Debbie laughs while she walks away. Lou doesn’t move.

 

 “Hey pretty girl, are you going to stay there all day or are you going to follow me?”

 

 “Yes, sorry I’m coming”

 

Lou catches Debbie up and walks by her side while they make they way to Debbie’s small apartment.

 

 

Over the weeks, the two young women grow close and soon enough, Lou learns about Debbie’s skills for cons and heists. But Lou likes Debbie, so she sticks around.

With her first pay check she invites Debbie to a nice restaurant.

 

 “Do you have any plans tonight?”

 

Lou tries to sound as innocent as possible. It’s early afternoon and they’re having a coffee in a small café next to Central Park.

 

 “No, I don’t”

 

 “Good, I’m taking you out”

 

 “Where are we going?”

 

 “You’ll find out when we get there. Just wear something elegant”

 

 “Oh come on tell me!”

 

 “No it’s a surprise”

 

Debbie pouts at Lou who grins back at her. Lou finishes her cup and gets up. Just as she’s ready to leave, she bends a little and kisses Debbie on the top of her head.

 

 “You better be ready on time, I’m picking you up at 8. See you later Ocean”

 

Debbie doesn’t have the time to respond, Lou’s already in the street waving goodbye at her as a small blush creeps on Debbie’s cheeks.

 

 

Choosing the right outfit takes Debbie ages. First, she tries a black and white jumpsuit. Then, she tries a green cocktail dress along with many other similar gowns. Finally, she settles for a [white plunging neckline top and a long black semi transparent dress](https://goo.gl/images/y9HXsB). She goes for red high heels and a black and gold purse. She lets her hair down, her brown curls falling on her shoulders. She puts her favourite perfume on, _la nuit Trésor_ by Lancôme, a bit of mascara and some blush on her light foundation. She wears her mother’s ring and a golden chain Danny gifted her.

When her doorbell rings at 8pm, she’s ready but also very nervous. Her hands tremble a little when she opens the door but, as soon as she sees Lou she’s immediately calmed by the blonde’s warm smile. Lou is stunning, she’s wearing a [floor-length sequinned mahogany and gold sleeveless gown, the plunging neckline of the dress showing her smooth pale skin as her necklaces rest in the crook of her breasts.](https://goo.gl/images/Ae4sp1) She holds a small black purse in her hand. Her hair is down, her bangs covering her eyes. She’s wearing her usual makeup, smoky black eye shadow and mascara, as well as her rings and a thin golden bracelet.

When chocolate brown eyes meet icy blue, time stops and both women forget to breath. Eventually, Lou breaks the silent.

 

 “Hi”

 

 “Hi”

 

 “You're stunning”

 

 “You too”

 

They smile at each other. Lou offers Debbie her arm and Debbie loops hers inside.

 

 “Shall we go?”

 

 “Yes please”

 

 

 

They have a great time at the restaurant, the place a beautiful and the food is a delight. Lou has salmon and vegetables and Debbie has roasted lobster. For dessert they share a chocolate fondant with ice cream. They “fight” for the cherry but Debbie being Lou’s guest, she offers it to the other woman. They laugh at Debbie’s silly jokes and Lou’s misadventures when she was a kid.

As they walk back from the restaurant, Debbie grabs Lou’s hand and pulls her to the side of the pavement. She has a serious look on her face and Lou can tell she’s nervous.

 

 “What’s the matter Deb?”

 

There’s concern in her voice.

 

 “I have something to ask you… I got this job offer a week ago, it’s a small con but the pay’s good. I need a partner, someone that will work with me, someone I trust, and I was wondering would be that person? Would you be my partner Lou?”

 

Lou knows Debbie’s being serious because Debbie never jokes about a job, she’s learned this over the weeks – nearly months – they’ve known each other.

She smiles as she can feel happiness spread quick through her body. Debbie trusts her, and Debbie doesn’t trusts anyone aside from Danny.

 

 “Did I say the money was good?”

 

Debbie’s tone is urgent, she’s nervous.

 

 “You did”

 

 “Is it a yes?”

 

 “Of course it’s a yes!”

 

Lou hasn’t got time to finish her sentence that Debbie’s already pulling her in a tight embrace.

 

 “We are going to have so much fun!”

 

Lou’s never seen Debbie this happy. She’s jumping up and down, hugging Lou, a bright smile on her lips.

 

 “Indeed we are”

 

July 15, 2002 marks the beginning of the greatest friendship and love story of all times.

 

 

 

 

They are going through a rough patch when Debbie teams up with Claude Becker. The small con at the bingo is not working as good as it used too, and their relationship is taking an unexpected turn Debbie is afraid of. Over the 10 years they've known each other their friendship has evolved into a special bond made of trust, sex and laughter but more importantly undeniable love.

So, Debbie runs away.

They’re in Debbie’s flat when Lou learns about Claude. Debbie’s going through several blueprints when Lou enters the kitchen.

 

 “Planning a new con?”

 

She takes a clean mug out from the dish washer and sets the coffee machine on. 

 

 “Yes… about that I need to tell you something”

 

 “I’m listening”

 

She smiles at Debbie expecting her friend to smile back but, the brunette doesn’t, a serious look on her face.

 

 “I met a guy, his name’s Claude Becker. He runs an art gallery downtown and offered me a job. It’s a good one, simple but efficient con”

 

 “That’s good news! When do we start?”

 

 “That’s the thing… He’s only looking for one partner. You’ll have to sit this one out”

 

 “Oh… ok…”

 

 “There’re terms too. We need to split for safety measures”

 

 “What does this mean?”

 

Lou’s voice trembles.

 

 “It means you need to move out from my flat. We won’t make contact until the con is over meaning no physical encounters and no phone calls or text messages”

 

Debbie’s voice is steady, she has her poker face on but her inside is screaming. She’s hurting Lou, she can see the sadness in her eyes, the tremble of her hands.

 

When Lou speaks again her voice breaks.

 

 “So that’s it, you find yourself a new partner”

 

 “It’s temporary”

 

 “Bullshit”

 

They’re silent for a while. Debbie stands up and gathers the blueprints and makes her way to the lounge. Lou doesn’t move from her spot next to the kitchen counter.

 

 “The things need to be out of the flat by the end of the week. I’ve already arranged a new place for you with Danny. It’s a nice flat in Manhattan. You can stay there until you find a place of your own”

 

With that said she doesn’t say another word and locks herself in her bedroom.

 

Lou doesn’t fight because she knows there’s no point in going against Debbie. Things might get ugly and she doesn’t want this.

So, by the end of the week she’s moved out of the flat.

 

 

 

 

When Debbie is arrested five months later she knows she’s made a big mistake. Lou’s safety, Lou’s caring, Lou’s home and Claude is distraction. Distraction from what Debbie is truly afraid of. Love.

Growing up in the Ocean family was hard. Her parents’ love for one another was ugly, her father’s love for his children was brutal and her mother’s love for Debbie died with her when she “disappeared”.

But the love Lou shows her is different. It’s tender, it’s deep, it’s strong and most importantly pure. Lou loves her with every bit of her heart, every cell in her body. It’s unconditional love and it scares Debbie.

She doesn’t know how to love, she doesn’t know how to be caring or tender. She hides her feelings, hides her doubts and hopes underneath thick layers of walls. But Lou is knocking all those walls down, making her way to Debbie’s heart and exposing the brunette.

 

She doesn’t have the chance to say goodbye, to say “I’m so sorry I’ve fucked up. Please wait for me. I love you”. When Lou tries to make contact during the trial Debbie refuses to talk to her, pretends she doesn’t know her. It hurts but it’s for the good cause. Lou’s record is clean, and Debbie wants it to stay this way. She doesn’t want Lou involved in her mess.

When the trial is over, and Debbie is incarcerated, Lou tries to make contact one last time, but Debbie shuts her down and Lou gives up.

Alone in her cell Debbie cries herself to sleep the first two nights and when there are no tears left to cry she does what she’s best at, she plans the greatest heist of all time and, her revenge.

Five years, eight months and twelve days later her plan is complete, and Lou is part of it from beginning to end.

 

 

Lou knows what it’s like to be abandoned, she’s used to it, but, Debbie kicking her out of her life is hard. She cries at lot, drinks her sorrow away and desperately tries to forget her strong feelings for the other woman.

When Debbie is arrested to tries to make contact, first via her lawyer, then through Danny. But each time, Debbie shuts her off, pretending she doesn’t know her. When the trial is over she tries one last time to get through to Debbie but like the previous times Debbie refuses to see her. So, she gives up and tries to move on.

It’s hard, the first two months she barely talks to anyone. After three months she decides to go on a road trip across the country. She goes to Boston, Chicago, Seattle, San Francisco and many other cities. She travels for over a year sleeping in motels, eating in dinners. She settles a few months in San Diego where she works as a bar tender. When she’s back in New York, she buys her own bar and the loft. It’s new and challenging. It’s a new life, a fresh start away from cons and heists. She stills waters the vodka down tough.

 

 

 

 

She receives Hannah’s letter on June 10, 2017. It’s been 3 years since Debbie’s left and nearly 2 years since she’s opened the bar. When she reads the letter for the first time she cannot believe Hannah’s found her. She reads it over and over again but is too afraid to reply. It takes her a least a week to find the right words and write them down.

They exchange three letters then send each other text messages. Hannah tells her about her life in France, her school, her friends, her activities, she sends her pictures and videos of her childhood in Australia. Lou tells her about her bar, her life in foster home and with Helen, her pregnancy and about Sam. She tells her about her new life in New York and about Debbie.

During their first phone call Lou talks about the heists and cons.

 

Hannah chuckles: “My mother is a badass. I like that.”

 

They talk about sport and music. Hannah plays football and surfs when she goes back to Australia. She loves Stevie Nicks, The Who, P!nk, Imagine Dragons and so does Lou.

Hannah speaks perfect English as well as French, so Lou takes French lessons. She doesn’t tell Hannah, she wants it to be a surprise.

Eventually, Lou stops drinking and quits smoking. She cooks more often and gives up on take outs. She doesn’t Hannah to think she’s a drunken mess, incapable of taking care of herself.

Meeting her daughter is easier said than done. With Hannah living in Europe and Lou in the America their meeting must be thoughtfully planned. So, a month later, during Hannah summer holidays, they schedule a meeting in New York. Hannah comes with her father, if it all goes well Hannah stays two more weeks with Lou. If not, Henry and Hannah go back to Bordeaux

 

 

 

They meet for the first time July 6, 2017 in front of Central Park.

Lou’s nervous, her hands are shaking, her breath is quick. The sun is bright and the weather warm even though it’s late afternoon. Hannah and her father arrived late the previous evening and settled in a nice hotel downtown.

Lou’s too absorbed by her thoughts to notice a, slightly smaller than her, red head and a tall man walking in here direction. Hannah’s voice brings her back to earth.

 

 “Hi! I’m Hannah and you must be Lou”

 

 “Hi! Yes… yes that’s me. Nice to meet you… should we shake hands, or should we give each other a kiss on each cheek? I read somewhere that French people did this. Maybe you don’t want to shake hands. Do you? I think we should do what you do in France. Wait you grew up in Australia so we should do like in Australia”

 

She stops.

 

 “Did I just say all of this? Oh no I did”

 

Her cheeks turn bright pink.

 

 “I’m so sorry, I’m not usually like this. I’m nervous”

 

Hannah smiles and when she does, Lou sees herself when she was the same aged. Hannah laughs a little when she talks.

 

 “Well at least I’m not the only one. Let’s do it the French way”

 

She steps forwards and gives Lou a kiss on each cheek.

 

Lou takes a second to look at Hannah. She’s wearing a [dark blue long dress with patterns of yellow and blue flowers](https://goo.gl/images/ym1ub6), a pair of white sneakers on and is carrying a white cotton tote bag. Her red hair is curly, just like Sam’s, and falls right in the crook of her neck. Her skin is pale, small freckles visible on her arms, hands and face. When Lou look at Hannah’s face, she is stunned. Her daughter has [mismatched eyes, one emerald green and the other icy blue](https://goo.gl/images/oB25wQ). The sight of Hannah's eyes takes her back to the day she gave birth. She remembers Hannah's half closed eyes thinking they were blue like hers. What she hadn't realized at the time was that the left one was darker than the right one.

 

 “Let me introduce you to my father. Lou, Henry. Dad, Lou”

 

 “Nice to meet you Lou”

 

 “Nice to meet you Sir”

 

 “Oh no please call me Henry”

 

 “Okay Henry then”

 

Hannah turns to Lou.

 

 “Don’t you think he looks like [Benedict Cumberbatch](https://goo.gl/images/VaUwcE)?”

 

Lou looks at Henry carefully. He’s a bit taller than her, his hair is black and curly, his eyes blue. His face is long and slim, and his smile is bright.

 

 “Yes, he does”

 

And it’s true.

 

 “You owe me a coffee Dad. I told you you looked like him”

 

 “Fair enough, I’ll buy you a cappuccino”

 

Henry and Lou laugh as Hannah hold her fist out as a victory sign. Then Lou speaks:

 

 “Well I know a nice coffee a few blocks away, it’s called Parliament would you like to go there?”

 

 “Let’s go then” says Hannah as Henry nods to approve.

 

Parliament is a cosy place, Lou likes it because of the wooden chairs and tables, because of the books and films posters on the walls, because of the blue coffee cups and the cakes but mostly because she used to get breakfast at this café for Debbie on Saturday mornings.

Lou has an Americano, Hannah a cappuccino and Henry an expresso. Lou asks about their flight and about the hotel. Then they talk about all the places to visit in New York. Lou puts her cup down and speaks:

 

 “I can take you on a tour tomorrow. I’ve lived here for more than 15 years now so I know New York and all it’s nice places by heart”

 

 “I’d like that. Dad what do you think?”

 

 “Well I wanted to check out some few book shops, I’m looking for a book for my students, but I can’t find it in France. I think you should go the two of you”

 

 “You’re sure?”

 

 “Yes, don’t worry about me. We can meet for lunch if you want”

 

 “Good idea! When do we meet then?”

 

Hannah turns to Lou.

 

 “Is it okay if I pick you up at 8 AM? Then we can have breakfast together if you want”

 

 “I’d like that very much”

 

 “Good!”

 

 

 

They spend the rest of the afternoon at Lou’s loft. Lou and Hannah listen to music while Henry goes through Lou’s bookshelves saying “ahhh very good book” every now and then.

 

Hannah and Henry leave around 9pm after helping Lou clear out the pizza boxes in living room.

 

 “Goodnight Lou see you tomorrow. Hannah I’ll be waiting in the taxi”

 

 “Okay I’ll be quick”

 

Henry leave while Hannah and Lou make their way to the front door.

 

 “I had a very nice afternoon and evening. Thank you!”

 

 “No need to thank me, I had a very nice time too”

 

Lou pauses a bit.

 

 “I’m happy you’re here”

 

She smiles shyly.

 

 “Me too”

 

Hannah moves quick. She hugs Lou and gives her a kiss on her left cheeks.

 

 “See you tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it!”

 

Lou hugs her back.

 

 “Me too. Go now”

 

Hannah smiles and runs to the cab. She’s about the to close the car’s door when she turns and gives Lou a wave.

Lou waves back as the cab drives away, happy tears streaming down her cheeks.

 

 

The next day they have breakfast in a small bakery and then lunch at a hot dog and bagel store. Henry leaves five days later and Hannah stays for another two weeks in Lou’s loft.

 

 

Hannah has two days left in New York, so they decide to have a night in just the two of them. Lou’s in the kitchen cooking the meal when Hannah comes in, her phone in one hand and a bright smile on her face.

 

 “What’s making you so happy?”

 

 “Had my Dad on the phone, asked me how it went”

 

 “Told him I was horrible?”

 

Her tone is playful. Hannah sits on the kitchen counter and smiles.

 

 “Told him I had a great time and he said you should come back with me so we could spend the rest of the holidays together. We rented a house in Italy near Genoa, there’s enough space for a third person and my Dad checked the flight is not full yet. We’re leaving in ten days from now and staying three weeks; would you like to come with us?”

 

Lou turns to face Hannah, surprise visible on her face.

 

 “For real?”

 

 “Of course for real!”

 

 “It’s a yes then!”

 

Hannah jumps down from the counter and hugs Lou. She speaks quick, her voice high and excited.

 

 “Thank you thank you thank you! This is going to be great!”

 

Lou kisses Hannah forehead, a bright smile on her face.

 

 “Let’s go pack my suitcase then”

 

 

July and August go by in the blink of an eye but for the first time in three years, Lou is truly happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note: the French greet with what they call the "bise". I have never been to the US nor to Australia so i don't know if they actually say hello by shaking hands.
> 
> For the purpose of this story, Lou is 35 when she gets Hannah's letter (2017) so she's 36 when Debbie gets out of jail (2018). Lou and Debbie meet in 2002 that would make Lou 20 yo. After seeing the film I believe Debbie is older than Lou so in this story Debbie in 3 years older than Lou.
> 
> If you could take a few seconds to leave a comment I'd really appreciate it. Every comment is a source of motivation.
> 
> I'll update soon  
> Bye for now


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